| Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006 |
| 12:41 pm |
Object
They are made mostly of wood. In America they are very poor and have to live together in close quarters in their cardboard houses. Those that are native to America are generally about six inches tall. Their bodies are bright yellow. Their bottoms come to a sharp conical point which makes it difficult to stand. They need to be held. Just above the conical foot, the shape of the body is that of a hexagonal cylinder which accounts for about five inches of its height. Atop their heads they can often be seen wearing metal crowns jeweled with a single large pink rubber jewel. This is the fashion though some choose different headgear. They like to walk in strange patterns. The pointed foot leaves behind a trail of dark slime. Sometimes they walk very straight, sometimes curved, some enjoy hopping along and back and forth leaving little circles and dots and lines of slime. Sometimes the foot will break or chip and need to be repaired. As they age they get shorter and shorter – some may be as short as an inch or two before the end. The crown and body may become dented and marked with the passing of time. Some may be bitten and chewed by predators. They are also prone to breaking. They splinter apart into long wooden shards and their silvery guts are revealed. They may still be able to function normally. Only sometimes can they be repaired. Despite being poor and weak they manage to live and love and work and play just as well as any of us. |
| Tuesday, February 28th, 2006 |
| 9:04 pm |
I was digging around some old files the other day and I found this. The >s denote the file that was kicking around the internet about 40 things men do that women hate in bed. The rest is my responses. I wrote this when I was like 20--it kinda baffles me how long ago that is. In any case, I got kind of a kick out of it. Maybe you will too. > 1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the > erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and > trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A > properly passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay. Fair. ( BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR ) |
| Tuesday, November 29th, 2005 |
| 10:48 pm |
vug0: ahh vug0: I'm flipping out vug0: talk to me nothininramblin: why? vug0: I dunno nothininramblin: what's up? vug0: eileen stuff vug0: I dunno nothininramblin: hmph vug0: don't wanna talk about it vug0: just wanna talk nothininramblin: arright vug0: aghafdoginrewviasdnjglkajg vug0: alkdsglkahgoiev;oinv;oinvvoivah nothininramblin: asd;lkoweittopupowertnmnbxcvlijadsogj nothininramblin: oiwerutnlcmxvnahrepoitu vug0: kldsjgoiervoiwcjiroielkgflkgfdldsalk;la;l kd nothininramblin: mmmmaosdpgeiewrthmnv nothininramblin: ;alksdjfhg nothininramblin: ;lkajsdfhg vug0: pwimoicoiconcenceooinceoinceoin nothininramblin: ;lkasjdfgh vug0: pepcppcpcwpmcwpmpmmpdwpmpmpimcdwpimpimc vug0: adslkjjalfds;ljafds;ljafdsjlklkjfdsa;lkj fdsa;lkjfdsaljkfdsa nothininramblin: pwimoicoiconcenceooinceoinceoin vug0: (: vug0: I feel a little better nothininramblin: pepcppcpcwpmcwpmpmmpdwpmpmpimcdwpimpimc |
| Sunday, November 20th, 2005 |
| 8:19 am |
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| Sunday, November 6th, 2005 |
| 12:25 am |
Something about poetry is that sometimes it just doesn't make sense. Sometimes it doesn't seem right. Sometimes it contradicts itself. Sometimes it's stupid, ugly, fucked up, mean. Sometimes it makes you cry. But it's beautiful. My life's kind of like poetry -- stupid, ugly, fucked up, mean, doesn't makes sense, doesn't seem right, beautiful and I never want to make you cry again.  |
| Tuesday, September 27th, 2005 |
| 5:54 pm |
Incident With a Bitch
[vug0 approaches an intersection expecting approaching car to stop at stop sign; car ignores stop sign and stops in crosswalk; vug0 bangs hard on passenger side window and walks around back of car; driver stops and opens his door] kneed4speed: Hit my car, you fucking cocksucker? vug0: Yeah, bitch. kneed4speed: ::starts to step out of car:: come over here, bitch. vug0: ::shows him a finger and keeps walking:: kneed4speed: I ought to kick your ass, you cocksucker. vug0: ::stops:: come hit me, bitch. I'd love to see you go to jail. kneed4speed: ::gets back into car:: come over here. vug0: ::walks toward car:: How you gonna feed your kids while you're someone's girlfriend. Come hit me or get to work, bitch, so I can go fuck your wife. kneed4speed: ::drives away:: |
| Monday, September 26th, 2005 |
| 2:47 pm |
Hang ups
vug0: masturbating going well? anorexicblowfish: oh yeah vug0: hot, I love masturbating anorexicblowfish: who doesnt?!?!?! vug0: I got made fun of for it yesterday though! vug0: it was amazing vug0: I was walking down the street with a friend of mine vug0: and I was telling her about my hang ups about sex anorexicblowfish: you have hang ups about sex? vug0: and I was like "I just can't have sex without feeling attached... I just can't have casual sex like that" vug0: and just as I was saying that vug0: loudly vug0: these three 16 year old black kids are walking by us vug0: and they overheard vug0: and started calling me a pussy and a bitch and telling me that I masturbate all the time vug0: it was really amazing vug0: I got an erection |
| Wednesday, September 21st, 2005 |
| 7:15 am |
I was shocked to learn that coffee mixed with raspberry lemonade Gatorade tastes a whole lot like Italian sausage. |
| Sunday, March 27th, 2005 |
| 4:11 am |
I think my glycogen stores are low. I have a jar of peanut butter in my room. I ate fried cheese and tomato sauce today. I also ate that last night. On the bright side, I have 1.21lbs of Salmon that I'm going to eat tomorrow. |
| Thursday, February 10th, 2005 |
| 11:02 pm |
IM GOING TO SMASH YOUR BALLS WITH A KNIFE |
| Monday, November 8th, 2004 |
| 6:01 pm |
Paraphrasing
(17:44:04)
AndThenSaraSaid: oh, matt (17:49:17)
vug0: ! (17:49:26)
AndThenSaraSaid: ? (17:50:01)
vug0: oh, that was meant to be in response to your,
"oh, matt" (17:50:08)
AndThenSaraSaid: ohhhhhhhhhh (17:50:08)
vug0: sorry it was a little belated (17:50:22)
vug0: at first I had decided that the conversation was
over (17:50:28) vug0:
but then I kept switching back to the window (17:50:31)
vug0: and I was like (17:50:37)
vug0: I need to put an exclamation point
there (17:50:38) vug0:
so I did (17:50:44)
vug0: but at that point it had been five
minutes (17:50:50) vug0:
and you were all "wtf?" (17:50:51)
AndThenSaraSaid: thats ok (17:51:00)
AndThenSaraSaid: actually, i was all "?" (17:51:46)
vug0: oh (17:51:58)
vug0: I was paraphrasing |
| Thursday, November 4th, 2004 |
| 5:33 pm |
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| Thursday, August 5th, 2004 |
| 12:40 pm |
Some Summer Something
Sometimes it seems like something should happen. I'm floating on the brink of discovery on the brink of disaster. Getting high off the buzzing in the room. Buzzing off the high pitched buzzing. Electric magnets fluctuating, blocking my brain waves from reaching my body. Keeping cool in the machine room, catching some cathode rays. Eat magic mushrooms to live forever and wipe fish oil off my chin. off my belly. And masturbate with fish body oil. I dive into the cold salty ocean. Sand stuck between my toes, legs, eyes. The sand smells a little like sex. So I have sand instead. Stuck between my toes, legs, eyes. Half expecting to be greeted by Johnny Depp or Ariel or some other lovely clam clad creature. Floating along to the song of some lovely clam clad creature ringing in my head and making it very hard to get any work done. |
| Saturday, June 26th, 2004 |
| 12:01 pm |
Raibertopia
Behrly Legal: udaysaddamhussein@yahoo.com Behrly Legal: that used to be saddam's son's email addy vug0: I'm not emailing uday vug0: I hate him Behrly Legal: like, it really was his address Behrly Legal: how weird vug0: he doesn't deserve my email vug0: haha, he uses yahoo Behrly Legal: haha vug0: man, they should outlaw yahoo vug0: because criminals use it! Behrly Legal: they're harboring terrorists Behrly Legal: and fetish porn vug0: and nothing that criminals use should be legal Behrly Legal: he apparently didn't love his father vug0: oh my goodness Behrly Legal: aw man, even bread? vug0: Yeah, even bread! Behrly Legal: snap Behrly Legal: good thing they don't use pasta vug0: Oh man, when I have my opressive regime... Behrly Legal: or i'd be out of a dinner! vug0: ORGANIZED criminals use pasta Behrly Legal: your Raibertopia? vug0: like on the Sopranos vug0: Man, everyone's gonna vote for me Behrly Legal: the sopranos use organized pastas? vug0: I'll get michael moore to make a documentary! Behrly Legal: haha vug0: He'll be all "This is the Barilla factory!! inside they make pasta used by such grievous criminals as Al Capone and That guy with the little face like mine!" |
| Friday, June 11th, 2004 |
| 5:56 am |
Summer Angst
It's 6am and I'm still awake. And there's no reason other than my own sanity that I should sleep. And my sanity doesn't seem to be quite reason enough for some reason. Sitting around on the fucking computer seems way more compelling right now. What kind of tabletop weirdo are you? Falling out of windows. Stomach growling, eyes dilating. blink. I see my reflection in the television. My body tries to sleep, but I make it hold on a little longer. Just a little longer. |
| Friday, March 19th, 2004 |
| 1:01 pm |
I got nuts!
randm_grrl4u: i am fighting off a hangover vug0: oooh drinking! what was the occasion? randm_grrl4u: crazy thursday randm_grrl4u: i got nuts vug0: I got nuts too. randm_grrl4u: yeah? in prauge, we have crazy thursday, and i usually display some sort of public drunkenness and foul language randm_grrl4u: i MAY have flashed someone on my webcam last night vug0: wow vug0: man, I gotta remember to talk to you next crazy thursday randm_grrl4u: crazy thurs. vug0: maybe I can get flashed! randm_grrl4u: you probably will vug0: it's a date! randm_grrl4u: ahahaha |
| Friday, March 5th, 2004 |
| 1:41 pm |
A Bit Much
One: vug0: how's he doing? Bourbon andCSPAN: he's sweet Bourbon andCSPAN: but sometimes it's a bit much Two: Mental Jam: i've rediscovered my love for cheese vug0: it's brie -- pretty nice with the ham Mental Jam: that's a little too much for me |
| Wednesday, February 25th, 2004 |
| 7:31 pm |
Pizza Rolls.
chasing the beat: oh man chasing the beat: pizza rolls vug0: does it? chasing the beat: what vug0: roll? chasing the beat: pizza rolls chasing the beat: yes vug0: I didn't know that. [chasing the beat has gone away.] |
| Monday, February 2nd, 2004 |
| 3:20 pm |
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| Sunday, January 25th, 2004 |
| 6:04 pm |
Six Haiku on Winter Romance
a sunday kiss is my last taste of metal and you so soft, warm and sweet something in me aches as we walk clumsily over the ice and his heart beautiful and soft you hold me tight in your arms and call me a slut when I first touched you I was so scared I could hear your face rub against mine I can drink water like wine and still get completely drunk on your mouth some days a spoon can be better than a fork -- it all depends on what you want to eat |
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